i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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