I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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