there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
