Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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