I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
