If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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