idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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