They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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