Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
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