is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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