His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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