4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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