How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
