I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
