i just had sex bonerless
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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