Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
