I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
