I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
