dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
