I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
