and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
