i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
a search helicopter?!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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