their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
