So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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