You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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