You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
