i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
