beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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