We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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