i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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