doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
this hospital has no fireball
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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