If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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