i don't plan on having that self control this summer
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
