Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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