Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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