tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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