Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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