nut hugger
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
ugly people sure do ruin things
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
