btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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