how can u be prego again
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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