I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
