I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
