I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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