I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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