True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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