He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
