the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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