i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
