your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
