i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Randomize
