Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
