I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
