walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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