So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize