ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
