Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
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