During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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