It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
