I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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