I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
