Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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