arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
