Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize