Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize