my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
