Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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