Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
