I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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