I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
