Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
