just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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