who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
