would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
