the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize