Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
