Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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