You smell like a Billy Joel song
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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